I confess…I am a step parent. It is hard to believe but I have been one for over 18 years. And an even bigger confession… I am a step parent coach willing to share what I have learned.

In some ways being a step parent can be harder than being a parent. Often you “step” into a situation where you are and feel the outsider. There is a bond that exists between a parent and biological child that as a non biological parent is hard to achieve. Children will resist your attempts at being a parent with comments like “I do not have to listen to you! You are not my dad!” The bio parent is also very protective of their children even with their spouse.

What is the secret to being an effective step parent? Communication. Sure that is easy to say but what do you actually do?

I have found that the most important part of being a step parent is setting up expectations with your spouse. Talk about what each other expects as their parenting partner, the kinds of things that you each want to see happen within the family, discipline guidelines, consistency of expectations, having a common front with the children. Once you have set the guidelines of how you want to parent together, it is essential to talk with the children to also set expectations of how you work together as a family.

I will cover this in more detail in our free family magazine, FUSEing Families. Step parenting will be a regular feature of the new magazine. Each month I will offer suggestions, answer questions and outline some steps you can take to have success as a step parent. You can subscribe to the magazine by following this link: http://www.tinyurl.com/FUSEingFamiliesMagazine